Side note...

I will post some pictures of Wyatt's first day of pre-school shortly (sorry mom, I took them on my phone so they won't be very big!).
But first I need to ramble for a bit.
I am tired.  Really, really tired.  Not sleepy tired (although I am getting there), but mentally, emotionally and physically tired.  I went to Co-op today to get icing sugar and found myself just standing in the aisle, because I could hardly convince myself to put one foot in front of the other.  Because it meant that when I got home, I actually had to make icing sugar.  And then I had to decorate a cake.  The cake is for my niece, whom I love dearly, but I just don't like doing cakes anymore.  And I am tired of talking myself into finishing things (or starting things, rather) that I do not want to do.  I knew that when I got back home, my son would likely be throwing a tantrum over something, and my husband would probably be losing his temper because we both have been pushed to our limit with Wyatt.  Again.  Things got better after he adjusted to being back at his old daycare.  And then preschool was about to start, and I think he just does so poorly with change that he lashes out.  He refuses to listen, and he takes NO punishment seriously, and laughs in my face.  A lot.  I don't handle that well at all.  I fly off the handle and yell.  I don't like yelling.  I feel awful for days after I yell.  I stay up and night, wishing that I had controlled my anger better. 
Now that I'm back at work, I feel like I have no energy to do anything at the end of the day.  We get home from work/daycare, push through supper, baths, bedtime and then I curl up on the couch with my laptop for 2 hours before bed.  I can't remember the last time I worked out.  I stopped counting calories because I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.  I don't have the energy to care.  Sometimes I physically do not have the energy to even wash my hair.  That means that I also do not have the energy to have meaningful interactions with my kids.  I don't feel like pushing Wyatt on the swing.  I don't feel like playing "digger".  I'm tired of chasing after Paige to make sure she doesn't climb on something, jump off something, climb off something, jump on something, take Wyatt's food, take Wyatt's cup, spill Wyatt's drink, slip in Wyatt's drink, throw toys, take toys, jam toys under the couch....
Last time I felt like this, my doctor diagnosed me with depression.  I was put on anti-depressants (we tried three different types of SSRIs), and my body couldn't handle them.  They made me so sleepy.  Dangerously sleepy.  As in, I nodded off on a trip home from the city, sleepy. So I went off of them, and made an effort to take better care of myself, and therefore Wyatt and my relationship with Josh.  But I don't know how to get there now.  I'm just too tired.  I don't feel like trying.  I feel like laying in my bed for days on end.

9.4.12

4 years.  Happy Birthday to my sweet baby boy!

9.3.12

Our weekend started off with what was supposed to be a camping trip to Grand Beach. We did make it there, set up and have supper, but after attempting to get the kids to sleep for 2 hours, we gave up and headed home. Which meant packing up in the dark. And only making it home at 1:45am.
The next day, everyone was over tired and grumpy. I was just sad, because we were supposed to be doing something special for Wyatt's birthday, but instead we were snapping at each other and the kids were having tantrum after tantrum.
So that evening, I decided we were turning the weekend around. It would still be good. We headed up to the beach and hiked the trails around the lake. We came home, had a fire and made s'mores. This afternoon we went to the zoo, then had Dairy Queen for supper (as per Wyatt's request), and played at the park for a bit. I might have pushed it a bit, as both kids had colossal meltdowns around bedtime. Still...the majority of the weekend went well. :)

Hiking.

Driving in the "zebra trucks."

Headed down the slide - she climbed up there on her own, and would go down on her own. No fear!

Checking out the birds at the zoo!

8.30.12

Apparently, the BEST place to play in the entire house is on our bed.  Both kids love to jump around, but Paige is a little more fearless than Wyatt.  She likes to stand on top of our pillows, and then just throw herself forward.  She does this hilarious scream/laugh while she does it.  Of course, the downside to this as the parent is running back and forth from each side of the bed to make sure she doesn't fling herself onto the floor.  She also enjoys doing this from the footstool to the couch, which is just downright terrifying and not fun at all (for me or Josh), so now the footstools only come out after bedtime. :P

8.29.12

Look at that face!  He cracks me up.  Wyatt is away at Josh's parents for a sleepover tonight, so it's been oddly quiet around here.  And clean.  No sippy cups left in front of the TV, no fire trucks and Hot Wheels taking over the dining room table.  Apparently they played outside from after lunch until suppertime, so I imagine he'll be tuckered right out.  Josh's dad really wanted to take him fishing, but I don't know that he'll like it.  It'll be good for him to decide on his own, and I appreciate that they want to do special things with Wyatt, but I hope they can acknowledge his limits.  His fear of water plus the unsteadiness of the boat will probably not go over well.  However, I am certainly fine with them trying - they usually know to not push the issue.  They tried to take him on some rides at the Corn and Apple festival on Sunday, but the crowds and the noise was just too much for him.
His actual birthday is quickly approaching, and I am still hoping to do something special.  He has been asking to go to the zoo, although I can't figure out why (whenever we go, he shows ZERO interest in the animals).  He has also been asking to go camping all summer, so if I can luck out and find a small campground close by (that still has available sites!), maybe we can swing that for one night.  Or just some backyard camping would probably make his day too. :)

8.25.12

We celebrated Wyatt's birthday today!  A little early, but it was the one day that worked for most of us (missed you, Kaeleigh and Barney!).  Wyatt wanted a Hot Wheels party, so we had some race car themed snacks and a few race car activities (a racing ramp that Josh built and some white Hot Wheels that the kids could "paint" with Sharpies).
He was blessed with many wonderful gifts (I think the Little Tikes BBQ may have been his favorite, considering he could hardly get the words out when he saw it!).  Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate with us!

8.19.12

Car Wash time.

"Oh hai mom. Just pouring water all over myself. Hope that's okay."

Pretty laid back weekend over here, if you consider pressure washing our deck and resealing it to be laid back.  I don't.  I should take that first sentence back.  Lots of hard work over here!  I even strained the muscles in my wrist using the pressure washer, so you know it was serious.  We're about half way done (a little more) resealing.  Kind of a moot point, since the wood is already in terrible shape.  Lipstick on a pig and all that.
Also working on Wyatt's 4th (FOURTH!??!?!?) birthday party.  This time, I swear I will be ready before the guests arrive.  Even if it means I start making the food today. ;)