5.23.12

Happy Birthday to my little monkey!  I can honestly say this past year has flown by.  I vividly remember pacing the hallway at home a year ago, waiting for Josh to get home from fire drill to take me to the hospital.  She has changed our lives so much from the moment she arrived.  Full of energy, curiosity, laughter and love.  We love you so much Paige! xo
PS. She's playing with the gift Wyatt picked out.  He said she wanted "something with wheels" - who do you think he was really thinking about? ;)

5.17.12

No pictures today....I don't have any.  After I took that one of Wyatt on Monday, I didn't take another single picture of either kid. :(  Guess that's what happens when you have 2 hours to jam in supper, bathtime and bedtime.
Can't say that I'm enjoying being back at work.  I think a lot of people misunderstand when I complain (yes, I will openly admit I am complaining) about my job.  It's not that I am against working.  I WANT to work.  I just don't want to work where I work.  I won't get into all the details, but it's not a challenging position for me (unless you count trying not to fire off a stream of profanities at your co-workers a challenge), it does not pay well enough for it to really be worth it for me to work 40 hours a week, and all the "behind the scenes" goings on is quite enough for me.
Wyatt is not adapting well to being in daycare full time.  I know there are aspects he enjoys.  I know he is making some friends there.  I know his daycare providers are doing their best to accommodate his noise sensitivities, but it's hard with 6 or 7 other small kids.  Who love to make noise.  Paige apparently is a little social butterfly, is loved by all the other girls there (and some boy who kept putting the moves [read = hugging] on her today).  I've noticed that when I get home though, she is very clingy (which is unlike her), but I have more faith that she will adapt.  Wyatt I'm not so sure about.  His behaviour at home is getting increasingly outrageous (tons of tantrums, pushing, shoving, hitting, head butting, etc).  He's exhausted when he gets home and has had some stomach issues the past two days.  I'm just not sure what to do.  There are lots of situations where I know he is uncomfortable (but I know he will benefit from the experience), so I try to help him navigate through those.  I don't know about this situation.  My gut is telling me something is off, but it has only been a week, so maybe we all need a little time to get used to this.
Or not.  Cause if I can find a way to get water from a stone, I am definitely blowing that popsicle stand.

5.14.12

Wyatt had his first soccer practice. It was just as you would imagine soccer with 4 and 5 year olds would be. Kids running all over the place, soccer balls all over the field...Josh stayed on the field with Wyatt for the most part, but it looked like he was having fun with the other kids.

5.13.12

We went for the world's longest walk today. Not distance wise, just time wise. It took us twice as long as usual, stopping because Paige threw her cup, because Wyatt lost his hat, because Paige threw her soother, because it was too windy, because Paige threw her cup, because Wyatt wanted to walk, because Paige threw her soother...I think you get the idea.
Oh, and we saw a tractor.

5.12.12

Happy.

5.10.12

I am getting terrible at taking pictures again.  I suppose it would help if I took my memory card out of my computer.
The kids spent the whole day at daycare today, a test run for when I return to work on Monday.  I got to go clothes shopping (hmm...somehow ended up a size bigger than when I got pregnant, imagine that), had lunch alone, and went grocery shopping (zzzz....).  Paige apparently refused to nap for the entire day, and Wyatt got bit, but otherwise I think it was okay.  They each made me a painting for Mother's Day, which is awesome, because in his 2 years at the other daycare, he never brought anything home.  As you can see, Paige made me a flower (I'm assuming with some help), and Wyatt painted a slimy monster truck (and moon and sun) for me.  :D

5.8.12

We corralled the kids (as well as my niece and nephew) into the Research Station for pictures this afternoon.  As I expected, trying to get a group shot of kids ranging from age 11 months - 5 years was a joke.  Thankfully I got good shots of each kid to give to Josh's mom as a Mother's Day gift.
The last few days I've become increasingly anxious and depressed about my return to work on Monday.  There have been days where I have thought returning to work would be the best thing on the planet.  And it's not that I don't want to work.  I do.  I also am looking forward to some adult conversation during the day.  But still, I don't think I am prepared for this, and it's really beginning to sink in what an ordeal it will be for the kids to get used to being in daycare ALL day, 5 days a week.  I think Paige will adapt really well.  She loves other kids and seems to like being there.  I'm not sure about Wyatt.  I don't think he's warming up to the new daycare as well as I'd hoped.  He likes the women who run it, and it has only been a few weeks that he's gone (and only two afternoons a week) - but he still tells me he doesn't want to go, and looks downright devastated when I drop him off.  Each time he asks, "Will daddy pick me up in a little bit?  I only have to stay here a little while?"  That doesn't make me feel good.  I know at some point he has to get used to other kids and adapt to his surroundings, but do I have to push him into it at age 3?
I certainly cannot afford to stay home right now, but it's also almost not worth it for me to go back to work.  I have no choice but to work full time (like many other mothers out there, I'm sure) just so that I can bring home enough money to buy groceries and pay for daycare each week.  I haven't worked full time in over 3 years, and I have never had to juggle a full time job with 2 kids.  I wish there were a bit of a warm up so I'm not just throwing us all in head first.
Like my mother said, I have to remind myself that this is not forever.  This is just for "right now".  Hopefully I can find a happy medium soon.